I’m starting to think that most of us have a little invisible antenna, sticking up from the back of our heads. It’s sending out a signal (beep beep beep) to attract very specific kinds of people and situations into our lives.This image came to me while working with a very nice client I’ll call “Rose”. Again and again Rose would find herself in the same sort of peculiar situations, involving unusually selfish and narcissistic people who would make outrageous demands on her.
Her stories were remarkable, and I was astonished she’d been able to locate so many of these rare (and unlikable) characters. When I asked her about it, Rose was surprised: “What do you mean? Everyone is like that...at least, everyone I know”. This last statement made both of us laugh.
I’ve seen this sort of thing again and again in the couples counseling I do. It’s amazing how people come together to rub each other in just exactly the wrong way. Their issues mesh perfectly. Precisely. How do they find each other? It’s like a miracle.
I’ve come to believe our subconscious sends out secret signals. And of course we must also have subliminal receivers built in. These signals must be very subtle and almost irresistible, because no one would consciously choose to hook up with awful people, right?
So how do we kill the signal? How do we stop calling in the jerks from all directions? Let’s look at the energy powering the signal. My guess is that it comes from bottled up emotions. Unresolved traumas and memories laden with intense fear or shame, anger or sadness; these things “cry out” for resolution.
Unfortunately, the subconscious mind is very literal. It tries to resolve these feelings by reenacting the original scenario. And so the signal goes out, inviting new actors to come play the same old roles in these painful dramas. We may act them out over and over, but it doesn’t usually help.
With EFT, on the other hand, we now have a way to discharge the original emotional intensity. And as the energy behind the signal fades away, we have a new opportunity to change what we’re broadcasting. We can deliberately choose to attract kind, loving people who are generous and supportive. We can call in opportunities for success.
The power behind these new signals comes directly from our decision to “deeply love and completely accept” ourselves. This is the emotional freedom that EFT stands for.
